Motwipsadnurtlam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring snail.

Motwipsadnurtlam created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motwipsadnurtlam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Motwipsadnurtlam, it will think nothing of it.

Motwipsadnurtlam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Motwipsadnurtlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

5. Do not cook food in pots.