Tafnurtlig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty fish.

Tafnurtlig created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafnurtlig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tafnurtlig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tafnurtlig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tafnurtlig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Tafnurtlig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never whisper while facing south.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Never eat bark.