Flamtignart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent dugong.

Flamtignart created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamtignart, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flamtignart, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flamtignart's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Flamtignart's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

4. Never think about moons.

5. You must love Flamtignart.