Bapvidpang is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unthinking dragon.

Bapvidpang created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapvidpang, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapvidpang, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Bapvidpang's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bapvidpang's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat strawberries on holy days.

3. Never approach forests carrying clay.

4. Never touch water while blessed.

5. Always wash your back before prayer.