Hitvolven Jappanggon is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise hydra.

Hitvolven Jappanggon created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitvolven Jappanggon, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hitvolven Jappanggon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hitvolven Jappanggon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Hitvolven Jappanggon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray immersed in water.