Sigsawxinquim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, slow swallow.

Sigsawxinquim created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sigsawxinquim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigsawxinquim, he will come to you in dreams.

Sigsawxinquim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Sigsawxinquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.