Timlaglid is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical spider.

Timlaglid created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Timlaglid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Timlaglid, it will destroy your home solar system.

Timlaglid's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Timlaglid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Never gather four aardvarks near towers.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not eat onions.