Dabfutkim is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless turtle.

Dabfutkim created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabfutkim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dabfutkim, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dabfutkim's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dabfutkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven snakes in a large pit.

2. You must love Dabfutkim.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always look after injured shrews.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dabfutkim.