Lopvabdibgom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless lobster.

Lopvabdibgom created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopvabdibgom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lopvabdibgom, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lopvabdibgom's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Lopvabdibgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never talk about spacetime near dogs while wearing purple tights.

3. Never prepare coconuts during winter.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never stain your neck with magenta.