Flismilaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate tapir.

Flismilaf created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flismilaf, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flismilaf, he will be very unhappy.

Flismilaf's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flismilaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never handle nickel while unclean.

4. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Never eat bread.