Sasmatlarg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient frog.

Sasmatlarg created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sasmatlarg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sasmatlarg, he will ignore you.

Sasmatlarg's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sasmatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Never chant in the presence of foxes.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Do not fashion tools from carbon.