Flandimgov is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, vain lizard.

Flandimgov created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flandimgov, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flandimgov, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flandimgov's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Flandimgov's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.