Vigfabraw is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, effective monkey.

Vigfabraw created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigfabraw, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vigfabraw, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vigfabraw's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Vigfabraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never mix beans with ash.

5. Never eat apples.