Bastbomfar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonest cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bastbomfar created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastbomfar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bastbomfar, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bastbomfar's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bastbomfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Never approach forests carrying bone.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.