Fidjarncim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous penguin.

Fidjarncim created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidjarncim, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fidjarncim, she will destroy your favourite star.

Fidjarncim's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fidjarncim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never allow mice to witness sacred rites.

5. Never talk about cell theory.