Nablopsad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, resourceful mongoose.

Nablopsad created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Nablopsad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nablopsad, he will be very sad.

Nablopsad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nablopsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always share onions with strangers, but never with frogs.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.