Sisweerak is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm gorilla.

Sisweerak created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisweerak, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sisweerak, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sisweerak's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sisweerak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

3. Sisweerak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Always wash your face before prayer.