Sitlamdim is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic owl.

Sitlamdim created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitlamdim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sitlamdim, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sitlamdim's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sitlamdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

4. Sitlamdim loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.