Fligtunvig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fligtunvig created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligtunvig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fligtunvig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fligtunvig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fligtunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never think about dark matter near sheep while wearing brown trousers and balancing four iron spheres on your back.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not consume melons at dawn.