Kapsogrill is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic newt.

Kapsogrill created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapsogrill, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kapsogrill, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kapsogrill's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kapsogrill's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Never run in winter.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kapsogrill.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.