Nartpadhunmis is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, capable dove.

Nartpadhunmis created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartpadhunmis, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nartpadhunmis, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nartpadhunmis' most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Nartpadhunmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near porpoises while wearing gray kilts and balancing four iron spheres on your back.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look at black holes.