Bemhinzog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic horse.

Bemhinzog created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemhinzog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemhinzog, he will manifest in front of you.

Bemhinzog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bemhinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat nuts on fasting days.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Do not fashion tools from platinum.