Hasmutgan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, moody dingo.

Hasmutgan created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasmutgan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hasmutgan, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hasmutgan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hasmutgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.