Vanjopgig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying fox.

Vanjopgig created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanjopgig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vanjopgig, he will turn you into a rock.

Vanjopgig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vanjopgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Vanjopgig on top of all buildings.

3. Never gather eight badgers in one place.

4. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing trousers.

5. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.