Badquatbem is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate zebra.

Badquatbem created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badquatbem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Badquatbem, he will be mildly annoyed.

Badquatbem's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Badquatbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Badquatbem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never laugh in spring.