Queeggadrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing crocodile.

Queeggadrutt created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Queeggadrutt, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Queeggadrutt, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Queeggadrutt's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Queeggadrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your feet with magenta.

2. Never gather four ants near towers.

3. Never prepare aubergines during winter.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near geese while wearing white kilts and balancing nine copper spheres on your arms.

5. Never cross crossroads at dusk.