Gesscibfem is a god.

She takes the form of a small, selfish newt.

Gesscibfem created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesscibfem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gesscibfem, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gesscibfem's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gesscibfem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three cats approach from the north.

2. Never point your legs toward the south during prayer.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never sit in the presence of mice.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.