Bidponvag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-assured hippopotamus.

Bidponvag created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidponvag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bidponvag, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bidponvag's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bidponvag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing green trousers.