Spagcinrak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, humorless centaur.

Spagcinrak created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagcinrak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Spagcinrak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Spagcinrak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Spagcinrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Spagcinrak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not take Spagcinrak's name in vain.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.