Labnell is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy scorpion.

Labnell created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Labnell, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Labnell, it will turn you into a puffin.

Labnell's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Labnell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four gold sculptures of Labnell on top of important buildings.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Do not resist balance.