Dammetjip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm lizard.

Dammetjip created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dammetjip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dammetjip, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dammetjip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Dammetjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Always wash your back before prayer.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.