Jatquambet is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, all-powerful lizard.

Jatquambet created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatquambet, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jatquambet, she will turn you into a rat.

Jatquambet's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jatquambet's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near snakes.

2. Never leap in the presence of ants.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Jatquambet on top of all buildings.