Talwityarp is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental monkey.

Talwityarp created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talwityarp, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Talwityarp, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Talwityarp's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Talwityarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

3. Never adorn your feet with violet markings.

4. Never gather six ducks near bridges.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.