Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever alligator.

Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cidbeplin Quillvenfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never prepare lemons during autumn.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never feed lots of tomatoes to swans while wearing yellow jumpers.