Bosstaddun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured jackal.

Bosstaddun created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bosstaddun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bosstaddun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bosstaddun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bosstaddun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Bosstaddun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bosstaddun on top of all buildings.

4. Never adorn your arms with pink markings.

5. Never approach forests carrying ash.