Fumladaf is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain cow.

Fumladaf created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Fumladaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fumladaf, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fumladaf's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fumladaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to birds while wearing boots.

2. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.