Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, boastful gorilla.

Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit, it will turn you into a dog.

Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Stiktanrilsomquagwodsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

3. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Hide from violet dolphins for they are unholy.