Gigcedlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonourable elephant.

Gigcedlarp created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigcedlarp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gigcedlarp, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gigcedlarp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gigcedlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gigcedlarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.