Gemgesskin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, proud unicorn.

Gemgesskin created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemgesskin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gemgesskin, he will turn you into a sheep.

Gemgesskin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gemgesskin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Do not speak about peas.