Tiplargtarpmum is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional squid.

Tiplargtarpmum created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplargtarpmum, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tiplargtarpmum, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tiplargtarpmum's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tiplargtarpmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not prepare apples while wearing shoes.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Never hop in the presence of elders.