Bafsoghit Kemflownil is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing whale.

Bafsoghit Kemflownil created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafsoghit Kemflownil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bafsoghit Kemflownil, he will turn you into a mole.

Bafsoghit Kemflownil's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bafsoghit Kemflownil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Bafsoghit Kemflownil in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

5. Always wear cyan.