Hinlanpark is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying mole.

Hinlanpark created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinlanpark, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hinlanpark, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hinlanpark's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hinlanpark's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat onions on fasting days.

3. Always obey Hinlanpark's priests.

4. Never allow horses to witness sacred rites.

5. Always wear red.