Davhubspag Zenkon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unjust seal.

Davhubspag Zenkon created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Davhubspag Zenkon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Davhubspag Zenkon, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Davhubspag Zenkon's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Davhubspag Zenkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing red jumpers and balancing five silicon spheres on your head.

2. Retreat if four manatees approach from the south.

3. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

4. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

5. Never gather six mice near wells.