Bemjinflygof is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, staggering hippopotamus.

Bemjinflygof created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemjinflygof, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bemjinflygof, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bemjinflygof's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bemjinflygof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never speak at dawn.

3. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.