Gudshavgeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless slug.

Gudshavgeb created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudshavgeb, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gudshavgeb, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gudshavgeb's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gudshavgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing blue shirts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your chest.

3. Never touch oil while clean.

4. Retreat if eight tortoises approach from the east.

5. Never gather seven great tits in one place.