Bifnad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, awesome beaver.

Bifnad created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifnad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bifnad, he will turn you into a slug.

Bifnad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bifnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.