Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent ant.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fumweghapsomfassaksagrot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet pigs for they are unholy.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

5. Always pray immersed in water.