Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, all-knowing scorpion.

Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cimjophapdogfatvidpigsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight ants in one place.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

4. Never run in the presence of swans.

5. Never feed wheat to turtles while wearing corsets.