Zannurlcit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic monkey.

Zannurlcit created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zannurlcit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zannurlcit, he will destroy your home planet.

Zannurlcit's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Zannurlcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not leap at crossroads.

3. Never cross rivers at dusk.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never talk about fire.