Flabpigmap is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil bear.

Flabpigmap created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabpigmap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flabpigmap, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Flabpigmap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Flabpigmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms pink.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about optics.

4. You must love Flabpigmap.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.